Continuation

I've been ill this week with a stonking cold that Chris has generously shared with me. While he has been tucked up inside recovering and fighting the virus, I've been at work, so I should imagine that I will be hit with the full force this weekend. Fingers crossed that I will be fighting fit by Monday though!

I want to continue (in a way) my last post, as I don't think I am finished on the subject of the wedding or of marriage. It is really important to me that I don't forget the little things. Like having breakfast with my parents and brother in the Asda cafe on the Saturday morning, and the texts that Chris and I sent each other as the morning went by. The mad dash from the Travelodge to the Swan Hotel at 2pm when my hair was 1/3rd in rollers, 1/3rd pinned curls and 1/3rd still to be curled, leaving me booking into my room in jeans, a massive baggy black T of Chris's, unlaced boots and rollers.

My dress was very low cut at the back, and I had to be very careful what underwear I wore. This photo was taken at the shop I bought the dress at, and if you look carefully, you can catch a glimpse of my fucshia big pants at the bottom of my back. On the day, I had taken all my clothes off to put this dress on, and in the rush to get out the door, I never put my correct pants on. I got married without any knickers on! Brazen hussy. (I didn't tell Chris until after we were married, on the outside steps of the registry office while we were having photos taken.)

My friend Laura texted me on Tuesday morning, to ask me if married life was different to living in sin. It is. It feels, if that were possible, more permanent. Chris and I were already happy and committed and convinced that we would be and wanted to be together forever, but it still feels different.

I asked Chris if he felt different, and he said he felt like 'us' was now higher in his thoughts than 'me and you', that our future was now more in his hands. We both still want the same things, but somehow the perspective is different.

I am even happier than before. I'm not yet used to my married name, I can't sign without a lot of thought, I still answer the phone wrong and haven't got around to taking my dress to be cleaned. Most of my documents I have not even started to change, I haven't fully unpacked my suitcase, I'm working on my thank you notes and still reeling from the notes being 20p each and the stamps being 30p each, but despite all this, I FEEL married. Or maybe I just feel like a newlywed, and feeling married is yet to come?