Resolution

Finally, after a couple of weeks of going round in circles about the issue, we have decided what names we will each use when we get married. I guess first I have to reveal that the whole issue of marriage is something that has really made me think about feminism, tradition and what the whole institution means to me. I had never really thought about marriage, except as a way of committing to a partner for life until about six months ago. I had never considered myself feminist, until a couple of months ago.

As it turns out, I feel quite strongly that we really do need to update the marriage act. Why should they ask for my father's trade, but not my mother's? What if she is the breadwinner, as I am in my own household? What does it matter anyway, since I moved out and have been living as an independent adult for eighteen months?

Aside from a few jokes, Mr SC would never dare ask that I vow to obey him. On the odd occasion that it does get raised, I usually agree, hand him my shoes and go stand by the sink ready to wash up. Then we crease up and get on with our lives in the 21st century. Don't even get me started on veils, flowers or white dresses.....

So I was altogether against taking Mr SC's last name, as I feel that the historical roots to this (of women as possessions and devoid of rights or belongings) deserve no respect whatsoever. I have been determined for some time, that I would not change my name if Mr SC would not change his. We have cycled through meshing our names into one, taking a name from our family tree, taking a name that means something to us, each keeping our own names or even hyphenating, and just were not able to agree. 

Today we have finally agreed that we will hyphenate without the hyphen. I have never liked double-barrelled last names, but I have to admit that I do want to share a name with Mr SC, and this is the only option that we can both live with, other than keeping our existing names.

Now I just have to decide between Ms and Mrs.....